It’s the final countdown. I’m back in Bali for 24 hours since my flight home departs tomorrow afternoon. I’m in Ubud (old friend) and while I’m in no rush, I am on a mission: to hit up three specific restaurants before I leave. I was ready to set out immediately, as it was noon and I was famished — afterall, I haven’t eaten lunch since yesterday.

(While I refer to all these places as restaurants, they really are warungs, simple open-air eateries that typically make one dish really well.)

Restaurant #1: Nasi Ayam Kedewatan
Recall this place from last week, where I walked 2.5 miles there — and 2.5 miles back — only to find them out of food. By hitting this place at noon I’d avoid that rookie mistake today. I arrived and saw it was full of food, including the famed sate lilit, minced chicken sate that is an order of magnitude tastier than any other I’ve had here. The chicken seemed doubly ground, filled with spices and lemongrass, molden onto thick bamboo skewers, and then grilled. This was also the first eatery I’ve ever been to where the server picked up the food not with utensils, but her bare hands. I started with four skewers (but ordered two more afterwards) and another tasty dish she just referred to as “chicken”. You may see fork and spoon here, but rest assured I dove right in with my hands.

Restaurant #2: Warung Igelanca
This is a temple for noodle-lovers, and being a noodle-lover I had to eat here. Actually, re-eat here, since I ate here last week. I ordered their standard, a noodle stir-fry in a curry sauce, and when it arrived I loaded it full of sambal (chili sauce), took a table near the street, and ate that big bowl of noodles as hundreds of motorbikes buzzed by. I was starting to get a little full at this point.

Restaurant #3: Bambu
The food sweats started hitting me, so I needed to go home and nap. My planned 15-minute nap turned into two hours, but afterwards I was ready to continue the battle, at Bambu. They serve good traditional Balinese dishes, and of note are the lawar (coconut and green bean salad), ayam pelalah (spicy shredded chicken with chili and lime), and sambal goreng udang (prawns in a tangy coconut-milk sauce). I really was torn which one to get, so I ordered all three. Not my wisest moment perhaps, but it was my last day here. As one dish was brought to the table, I took my time eating it, and awaited the next one. Three dishes and three bowls of rice later, I was very satisfied, and full … and maybe a little bit regretful of ordering all of them. I definitely could be banished to the third circle of Hell (gluttony) for this behavior. The spicy shredded chicken:

Walking back home — very slowly and also slightly hunched over — I sensed trouble. I felt … something … and realized this was the real deal. I picked up the pace, and by the time I got within view of my place I was nearly sprinting. This was taking away my enjoyment of the food by a lot. Needing my room key A-SAP, I asked the hotel boy to get me the key quickly, but he was shining his motorcycle calmly and without a care in the world. I urged him to hurry and he took his sweet time until I finally had to yell “TOILET!” He tossed over the key, I ran into my room, threw off my clothes (sorry, it’s what I do in really hot weather, a la George Costanza), scrambled to find something to read (gotta do that too) but was unsuccessful, and so I just ran into the bathroom.

Now, I’m relaxed as can be … and, despite not having proper reading material, still a little smarter. I learned all there is to know about Procter & Gamble from the shaving cream bottle, and I also discovered my bathroom has a mini-fridge.

I think it’s time I go home now. USA home, that is.