Time for another adventure, peoples. This year brings me to Nigeria and for the first time I will mix business with pleasure. I will be participating in the Nigerian Cardiovascular Symposium, a conference brought to my attention by a colleague, where the plan is to implant devices – both pacemakers and defibrillators – and also give several lectures.

Nigeria isn’t exactly the safest country at this time, and so the list of things that threaten me on this trip is a little longer than the usual my international escapades. Here’s a brief rundown:

Travellers diarrhea

Nothing new for international travel, but a recent discussion with one of our Infectious Diseases doctors frightened me into loading up on multiple antibiotics, just in case. Ain’t nobody got time for loose movements.

Zika virus

I have no plans on getting pregnant there, so I’m probably safe with this one. Some microcephaly may actually improve the size of my head.

Terrorists

Boko Haram is no joke. Every time I forget about them, they surface again in the news in frightening ways. Luckily the part of Nigeria I will be in is quite far away from where they operate.

Nigerian email scammers

Prior to preparing for this trip, my only connection to Nigeria was that a few years ago I found out I was the recipient of a very large fortune due to the untimely death of one of their royalty. I kept in touch via email with a very polite Nigerian prince telling me how to cash in on this event. However, the next thing I knew I had lost $50,000 and had no fortune to show for it. Turns out it was all a scam … who knew.

In all seriousness, as I was applying for my visa, the list of required documents – as instructed by the Nigerian embassy, mind you – included the following:

• Letter of invitation from the host
• Hotel reservation confirmation
• Evidence of funds to cover stay in Nigeria (letter from bank etc.)

Invitation letter: check. Hotel confirmation: check. Evidence of funds…wait, what? This sounded suspiciously similar to the hundred scamming emails I’d received in the past. I reluctantly sent them a screenshot of my bank account with appropriate parts blacked out, but I still had a very uneasy feeling. Luckily I have yet to receive a response along the lines of “I know this message will come to you as a surprise but I am a well known wealthy business man…”

See you all on the other side.