Konichiwa from Tokyo! I arrived here safely and effortlessly, and finally got to fly aboard the monstrous Airbus A380, the jumbo airplane with two levels of seating. The exciting news is that I was seated on the upper deck; the less exciting news is that I was in the last row, right next to the toilet. It was not quiet. And for in-flight entertainment I had hundreds of movies to choose from, but for some reason I chose a bad one called Pitch Perfect, which was like 2 hours of Glee meets Bring It On. I can’t believe I watched it. Actually, I can’t believe I watched it three times.

The Tokyo airport, as expected, was very clean and efficient. Even passing though Customs was a breeze…although I found it odd that they asked if I was traveling with any swords.

Ramen
While sushi is the main purpose of my trip, a close second is eating ramen. Ramen dishes are big bowls of thin noodles in hot broth, and Tokyo is filled with delicious ramen houses. Most of them are very casual places with a single counter filled with people hunched over their bowls, slurping away. There is usually a long line of people waiting to get inside. It’s both a tasty meal and a fun experience.

And this is what we ate for our first meal. More importantly, it was finally time to put all my weeks of chopsticks training to use. I reached down to gently lift the chopsticks off their holder…and everything fell. Off the table. With a loud and embarrassing crash. It was literally the first moment I touched a pair of chopsticks in Japan, and of course I made a scene. I disgraced myself, the restaurant, and the chef I’m sure. And knowing how tradition-rich this culture is, I probably offended somebody’s ancestors too. Strong work.

(I’m not begging for food…I’m just reaching for my bowl!)

Cherry Blossoms
Springtime in Japan is when the famous cherry blossoms bloom. Hundreds of cherry trees open up their flowers for only one or two weeks, and they draw out all the locals. We got extremely lucky and visited at the perfect time to view the sakura (cherry blossoms). We were also very lucky because our local friend, Yukiko, took us to one of the best spots to view them. Here we are at the Chidorigafuchi walk near the imperial palace, where people can take small boats onto the moat that surrounds the palace.

Tsukiji Fish Market
On my last trip to Sydney, Australia I visited the second largest fish market in the world. Not to be outdone (by myself), this morning we visited the largest fish market in the world, the Tsukiji fish market. This place was the mother of all markets…it was huge. If it lives in the ocean, it’s probably sold here.

But by far the most exciting part of the visit was the infamous tuna auction, where at 5am every morning all the latest catch are auctioned off to middlemen (who then sell to other retailers). Their visitor’s office opens at 430am and they only allow two groups of 60 each to view the auction. We woke up at 330am and arrived there promptly at 4am…and still only made it into the second group. It was a loud, crazy, and definitely unique experience.

After seeing the auction and exploring the market, we went to one of the sushi restaurants just a few steps away and ate what was may have the freshest sushi anywhere in the world. While the long line for sushi at 7am was a little unusual, the quality of fish was worth it.

—–
In other news, apparently Japan loves bidets. I, however, do not. Last time I encountered them (in Iran) bidets were a separate unit so their use was optional. But here they’re built-in and therefore must be used…no way around it. So my plan is to avoid using a toilet altogether, for the entire trip. I’ll just hold it in. I can do it.

Trains
I don’t have strong opinions on most things in this world. For example, politics. Don’t care much. Sports. Eh. Human interaction. Take it or leave it.

But trains? I love me some trains. Whether it’s because they’re a rarity in the US, or such an easy way to travel long distances, or the clickity-clack of the wheels are relaxing, trains are my favorite mode of transportation.

Japan has no shortage of trains between their expansive metro, railway system, and most famously, their bullet train (or, Shinkansen). Their speediest car is the Nozomi 700. These odd-looking yet slender bad boys run surprisingly silently at speeds approaching 275 mph and yet you barely feel any movement. (Yes, physics geeks, at constant speed it’s impossible to feel anything; but even when speeding up/slowing down, this train feels remarkably motionless.)

We took the Shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto for the weekend, and for the entire 2-hour journey I was like a kid in a candy store. (A candy store that smelled like seaweed and fish, mind you.)

Just call me Sheldon.

Traditional Japan
Kyoto is the city to visit for a glimpse of ancient Japan. As the former capital, Kyoto is likely what people imagine when they think of the cultural side of this country, and it is filled with ancient temples and shrines and beautiful gardens. This city is also the perfect place to get a taste of how Japanese people used to live, by staying in a ryokan, a traditional Japanese inn.

Here, everything is taken care of for you by people waiting on your every need. You simply lounge around in robes and drink tea, sleep on tatami mats, and enjoy hot spring baths (public though, where no underwear was allowed…ok, so only private baths for me then.)

Most impressively, you are treated to elegant Japanese haute cuisine (kaiseki) for dinner. However, what is haute cuisine for some is unusual cuisine for others. Colorful and perfectly prepared as each dish was of this 10-course meal, it appeared they were made only with raw fish parts. Each time a course was placed in front of us, we eagerly opened the little box hoping to find something familiar, but it never happened. Just cold, raw, unidentifiable pieces of something squishy that was just snatched from the ocean. Some were so fresh that a skilled veterinarian could have probably revived them. It was a very beautiful-looking and masterfully-prepared meal…but unfortunately, for us, not a tasty one.

Temple of 1000 Gates
We took a day hike at Fushimi Inari, one of the most popular shrines in Japan where the 4 km path up a mountainous forest was lined with thousands of bright red gates.

Geisha
Kyoto is home to Japan’s famous entertainment and geisha district. Before this trip I really had no idea what a geisha was…I just thought they were Japanese women who put on lots of makeup, wear kimonos, and write memoirs. I now finally learned who they really are.

First of all, they are not prostitutes. And they don’t sleep with their customers (a shame, because that immediately ruined many of my plans.) They are well-trained and very talented entertainers who liven up social situations. They dance, play games, offer witty conversation, and are skilled at playing Japanese musical instruments. Also, it takes years of training to become one.

Gion is the geisha district in Kyoto where they can often be spotted in the evenings walking on the streets, usually to or from an event. Tourists often hang out in this district at night trying to spot geishas, and we too went geisha hunting while we were here. One night we saw a taxi filled with them, their distinct hair style visible in the back seats. The second night we saw two young ones walking around, but they were probably maiko, geisha in training. We also went to a traditional dance performance, but were fooled…instead of a geisha we got a maiko.

I don’t know what was on her mind, but she sure looked angry the entire time. (Maybe she saw me accidentally (sort of) push over a large Eastern European woman so I could get myself a good seat. Oops.)

Sushi Jiro
The time has come to eat at the famous Sukiyabashi Jiro, or more commonly, Sushi Jiro. Not only was the reservation hard to get, so was finding the restaurant. As usual in this city, locating the restaurant was a painful struggle…we rode the metro, went up skyscrapers, crossed overpasses, and asked directions multiple times, but we finally found the nearly unmarked restaurant. Unfortunately Jiro himself wasn’t there that day, but his son, who I immediately recognized from the movie, was. Close enough.

Inside the restaurant was very quiet but surprisingly the mood was relaxed. We were shown to our seats at the short counter, behind which stood Jiro, Jr. and his one helper, both busy toiling away in silence.

After months of anticipation I was finally here…and super nervous. But a few shots of sake later I was warmed up and ready for the show. Over the next hour and a half they proceeded to bring out piece after piece of meticulously prepared seafood. Fish comprised only about half the menu; the rest was other sea life such as scallops, octopus, eel, and clam. The sushi was…amazing. Fish were sliced just right, perfectly seasoned, tender, and without any tough bits. The rice was perfectly cooked and formed, dense enough to hold its shape but still light. Every piece was fresh and brightly colored and appetizing. Every piece also exceeded my expectations.

Equally impressive as the food was the impeccable service. We were watched the entire time, in front by Jiro, Jr. and helper, and from the back by the hostess. There was never a need to ask for anything, as they anticipated or knew our every need. If sauce spilled or sake was empty, they would quickly and quietly swoop in and take care of it without being asked. At one point my iPhone dropped to the floor and the hostess immediately rushed to pick it up…unfortunately, that delayed her a few seconds from seeing new customers at the door, which earned her a mouthful of scolding from the boss.

The only imperfection lay with one small component of the menu. I enjoyed every piece of sushi put in front of me except for one: sea urchin, or uni. Pictured below (bottom right), this squishy yellow blob had the consistency of curdled milk and the taste of fish guts. I faced the wall and spent several minutes chewing in silence, since I dared not look over at Jiro (who would have thrown me out) or my brother (who would have made me laugh and spit it up). In the end I finally swallowed but not without a few suppressed gag reflexes. I’m sure the urchin was of the highest quality and that it couldn’t have been better prepared, but even Jiro can’t make this disgusting sea creature taste good.

(The one other flaw was two guys sitting next to us who were brown-nosing Jiro the entire time. Back home I’d call them douchebags. Here in Tokyo…well, they’re still douchebags.)

Finally, my chopstick skills? On the ball. At one point I performed an elaborate move bringing a shrimp to my mouth then gracefully tearing off its tail right at the moment I put it in my mouth. Forget Jiro, they should make a documentary about me. (Just kidding Jiro, please let me eat there again.)

This was an amazing meal and experience, and worth all the hassle and effort (and money) to make it reality. Hopefully I’ll be back again in the future.

Ramen
While Japan’s sushi has been great, the dish that’s really surprised me here is ramen. Little did I expect these seemingly simple bowls of thin noodles to be so tasty and addictive. As I often do while traveling, I eat four meals a day. However, unlike other trips where this extra meal occurs spontaneously when I’d see an appetizing dish as I roam the streets, here I actively schedule an afternoon ramen into my daily meal plan. And I can’t wait long either…after lunch #1, I can only last about 30 minutes before I’m hunting for lunch #2.

After sampling multiple ramen houses, my favorite quickly became one named Ichiran. This chain has a unique feature whereby their counter is filled with vertical dividers separating every customer. Their intent is for you to focus on your food…and only on your food. Such solitary eating is certainly unusual, especially for Americans. Focus you will do, but it’s very anti-social. Actually, come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m complaining. (Which also makes me think, perhaps I finally should join Facebook…after all, I support anything that reduces human contact!)

The Ichiran experience starts with you paying for your meal beforehand at a machine, then specifying various aspects of your ramen (e.g. broth richness, noodle tenderness, spiciness, etc.), taking a seat in your stall, and then awaiting your bowl of personalized noodles to slurp.

Yes, your boy can read Japanese. Just kidding. I’ve eaten here so much that I’ve memorized the words on that card.

Hakone
We took a day trip to Hakone, a small city in the beautiful mountainside just outside of Tokyo. The region is filled with domestic and international visitors who want to escape bustling city life and enjoy one of the many hot springs there. Mt. Fuji is also visible in the distance, although we didn’t have time for it as our train was stuck for an extra hour because someone jumped onto the tracks (leave it to one person to ruin it for everyone.) But we did enjoy a nice meal…and, awkward as it was, we took a short dip in the hot springs. Unfortunately I was forced to abide by their rules, which meant no underwear while in the water.

So basically, I travelled four hours to eat a bowl of noodles and sit naked with some men.

This is a 3-minute video featuring the early morning tuna auction at the Tsukiji fish market. Filmed and edited on only my iPhone using iMovie. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so resistant to owning an iPhone before.