Travel Journal: Greenland

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Today was … memorable. Air Iceland offers day trips from Reykjavik to Greenland, and since it’s unlikely I’ll be in the region again soon, I figured why not visit an extra country (interestingly, Greenland is not entirely independent but rather part of the Kingdom of Denmark.) Specifically we would visit Kulusuk, a small village with no flushing toilets populated by only 200 residents who are Inuits. We boarded our plane and two hours later landed in the faraway village. We were filled with excitement and hope.

We were met by our guide Johann, a Danish man with graduate school education in anthropology living part of the year in Greenland and the rest in Iceland, who led us on our hike from the airport to the village. After an hour of walking and hearing interesting history about the region, Kulusuk — with its brightly colored wood houses — became visible. A bit barren, but we were still intrigued at this point.

How quickly our minds changed. A few hours here convinced us that this small village was perhaps the most depressing community we had ever experienced. The village was essentially a ghost town, with no signs of anyone trying to make a living or wanting to have purpose. And none of the residents appeared to be interested in preserving any aspect of their culture, from their village (covered with filth) to their identity (most were unemployed due to poor work ethic) to even their own health (significant alcohol abuse and more).

It was so depressing it became comical. The only thing we could do to keep us from losing our sanity was make fun of the situation. To more accurately describe our visit there, I will now contrast what our tour itinerary promised with a more realistic itinerary … based on what we actually experienced.

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Your guide will escort you from the airport to the engaging village Kulusuk…

Your guide will lead you on a hike through rocky hills instead of the flatter main road (and say “but if I had Chinese people in my group I’d use the easy roads.”) You will then reach a village littered with trash and where inbreeding runs rampant.

…where you can stroll about and meet some of the 250 local residents and view their quality crafts.

You will see at most 15 local and probably drunk residents, including a man who’s lived in the village for 32 years but was so drunk he couldn’t remember half of it, and “Mrs Unfaithful”, the town prostitute who everyone — except her husband — knows is pregnant.

You’ll be treated to kayaking demonstrations and an ancient drum dance reflective of the indigenous culture.

They will drag a really old kayak out of a shed and show it to you for 5 minutes. You won’t get a drum/dance show but you will see the dance hall where performances used to be held.

On your return flight to Reykjavík you enjoy a spectacular view over huge glaciers and floating icebergs.

Your guide will charge you an extra $30 then throw you on a little boat filled with guns, going 1 mph (but, you will see icebergs!)

You will also receive a certificate of visit.

You will be treated to a day-old hot dog that you have to pay for yourself.

Lunch or refreshments are not included.

At least they got one thing right.

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Admittedly I’m being somewhat harsh, and I am certain Greenland has much beautiful scenery and unique activities; Kulusuk was just not the place to experience them. I would happily return to other parts of this country especially as part of a trip to the Arctic. Until then, this is one passport stamp that was quite painful to earn.

Travel Journal: Iceland 1

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Halló from Iceland! First off, why didn’t anyone let me know it’s cold here … I’m quite under prepared for the wind and cold weather here. It doesn’t help that I forgot those thermal underwear I mentioned earlier, because my bits are freezing. It also doesn’t help that the locals love to announce “Reykjavik is so warm this time of year.”

Thermal baths
Iceland is full of volcanos and people who love to swim (Reykjavikurs went swimming an average of 15 times last year)…so what better way to combine the two than with geothermal baths. The water in these pools are warmed by volcanic flow, keeping them around 30 degrees C.

As my first activity in this country I visited Laugardalslaug, the largest pools in Iceland, including several Olympic sized ones as well as multiple “hot pots” (essentially jacuzzis, with extra hot water being pumped in.)

Icelanders are very particular about tourists being dirty and thus everyone is required to shower before entering the pools. No big deal, but then I saw this sign:

Great. Not only do they want you clean but they want your swimsuit clean too, but separately from your body. Reluctantly I stripped down and walked into the shower area while — and here’s the best part — some teenage kid on a power trip watched us all to make sure we were showering properly. I’m pretty sure that is how they do it in prison.

In any case, I actually went on to have a great swim followed by a long sit in their hot pots, kept at very toasty 42 degrees.  I was so jet lagged I almost fell asleep several times. Overall, except for the fact that I paid money to shower naked with other men, it was a great experience.

Quad tour
A unique way to experience the more natural parts of Reykjavik is with a quad (or ATV as I thought they were called.) We took a quad tour at nighttime of the city and its outskirts, riding through mountains, dirt roads, and shallow rivers. These 4-wheeled beasts were much bigger than I thought, and we took them to nearly 60 mph (100 kph if you’re European.)

I was already a bit apprehensive because of all the injury horror stories I’ve heard they cause, but I ended up feeling much safer than expected.

What certainly is not safe is driving with only one hand.

By the way, these shots were all taken around 11pm at night.

Geysers
One of Iceland’s most famous attractions is Geysir, the natural hot water spout after which all others in the world are named (i.e. “geysers”). Geysir is the grand daddy of them all but unfortunately stopped erupting in the 1950s after tourists threw rocks in there and clogged him up. This is poor Geysir today:

Luckily, just down the road is Strokkur, probably the world’s most reliable geyser. She erupts consistently every 8-10 minutes and really is an exciting sight to see.

Introducing Iceland (and Greenland)

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Welcome back, peoples! Despite my efforts to stay local and domestic this year, I succumbed to the travel bug and booked a last-minute flight to Iceland.

Why Iceland? Mostly because I spun an e-globe (i.e. Google Maps), closed my eyes, and dropped a finger down on a random country. I don’t know much about the country — until today I didn’t even know what language they spoke (Icelandic) — but it definitely seems like a land where modern civilization meets kingdoms of previous eras, when vikings ruled the world and elves ran around freely. It’s full of natural wonders such as volcanoes, geysers, thermal baths, fjords, and more. It’s also full of interesting and long names such as Reykjavik, Kerlingarfjoll, Eyjafjallajokull, and Aflugennugenblugen. (I may have made up one of those names.)

I will be traveling once again with Rubin — a friend from medical school who I went to South America and also took a bromance trip with — and our itinerary includes flying into Reyjkavik, Iceland and spending a few days there exploring scenery, visiting castles, eating herring, and similar things. We also decided to hop over to Greenland and see what that country has to offer. As of now, all I know is that Iceland is green and Greenland is ice. Let’s see how true that is.

I’m taking a ridiculous amount of technology with me, including my iPhone, iPad, Canon Powershot camera, and GoPro video camera. Also I’ve packed an odd collection of clothes and items, including thermal underwear, scarves, and gloves (for cold weather) and swimsuit and snorkel gear (for warm weather…I hope).

That’s it for now. See you on the other side.

Hot Wings Challenge

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I found myself this Friday night at Urge Gastropub — a great restaurant with a fantastic beer list — for their 4th anniversary celebration. As part of their special menu for the night was the “Pucker butt wings.”  While their name isn’t very memorable, their effect on your body most definitely is. These wings were covered with a sauce made from the 4 hottest peppers on the planet: the Carolina Reaper, Moruga Scorpion, Trinidad Butch T Scorpion, and the famous Ghost Pepper. With names like those (“Butch T”??) you know Mother Nature ain’t messing around.

In our group of 10, only 3 of us were courageous enough to order them; the rest of the table was much more level-headed. Shortly afterwards our waitress brought us each a waiver to sign. We happily signed it — like a dope I signed it as if I were signing an official hospital document: with date and time — and waited for the plate of wings to arrive.

And soon a plate full of 9 sauce-soaked wings with an extra drizzle of sauce landed in front of us. Here I am at the start, still happy and enjoying life. Note the gloves, which a friend provided and proved to be a very valuable accessory.

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Happiness quickly turned to pain…and sadness…and panic. Admittedly the first few wings were tasty, but then the burn sunk in and it was an intense heat like nothing I’ve ever experienced. My tongue and face both felt like they wanted to burst with fire. I kept sticking out my tongue in an attempt to cool it but that was pointless. Sips and gulps of beer didn’t help at all, and neither did getting up and pacing around the room. My eyes started tearing up and my nose started pouring out its own fluid…all of which Sally had to wipe away for me periodically. A quick glance around the room revealed the other two guys were equally suffering.

I was only halfway done and almost ready to to call it quits when I received a blessing: a glass of milk delivered by our waitress. Milk typically hasn’t helped me much in the past with spicy foods, but then again I’ve never tasted spice like this. That cool milk coated and soothed my tongue and was the only thing that allowed me finish off all 9 wings.

A slow and painful ten minutes later the wings were finished but the aftermath was only beginning. My lips and tongue continued to tingle for hours, and soon the rest of my GI tract started churning. Unfortunately — but as expected — 12 hours later the wings took out their biggest revenge on me: basement fire. (And that’s a fire that I couldn’t put out for a full day.) Despite all that, I’m looking forward to participating again next year.

I edited a short (1:30) video of my suffering. Watch, and experience the pain with me.

Travel Journal: Zanzibar

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Jambo again, this time from Zanzibar! Zanzibar is a small island off the coast of Tanzania surrounded by lovely turquoise waters and full of the whitest sand beaches. We couldn’t have chosen a more ideal place to stay after our safari, as our last 24 hours of Nairobi were completely devoid of sleep, hygiene, showers, and hotel rooms with lights that actually turn off. We also wasted 3 hours in a live comedy show that was supposedly in English but ended up being only in Swahili. On the bright side, my face may be on a Kenyan TV show soon. We arrived at an empty Nairobi airport at 5am for our 8am flight just to escape the loud hell that was the Hotel Embassy, but once we landed in Zanzibar and felt the warm air blow across our faces, it was all worth it.

Kendwa Rocks
We are staying on Kendwa beach at the idyllic Kendwa Rocks resort, an oasis of luxury on this until-now dirty vacation. Our room features a balcony with lounge chairs that overlooks the beach just a few hundred feet away, there is instant hot water, western style toilets, air conditioning, and wifi (however slow). There is no need to leave the resort since there’s a restaurant and bar here as well as an office that organizes any activity you want.

Here is the view from our awesome room:

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The beach is even more amazing from the water:

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I’d show pictures of what we do all day but it’d only be pictures of us lounging on the beach with the occasional waking up to eat a meal or take a stroll.

We went on a snorkeling trip one day and enjoyed lots of pretty tropical fish and coral, including my favorite combo of clownfish and anemone. Unfortunately the boat forgot about us and left us in the water for an extra 45 minutes. Punks.

Out of Africa
It seems we can’t leave any city on this trip without being subjected to mild torture. The ferry ride from Zanzibar to the Tanzanian capital of Dar es Salaam wasn’t pleasant either. We were hoping the extra money we paid for the “fast ferry” would provide us a smooth ride but our trip was anything but. We were subjected to two hours of super choppy waters, people vomiting left and right, and a ceiling air conditioner that dumped water on us every few minutes. And at one point I stepped outside for a breath of fresh air and realized I was standing next to this:

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That’s right…a coffin. I was kicking it with a dead guy. At least his ride was probably more peaceful than mine. Rest in peace, nameless man.

Travel Journal: Safari

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We were picked up bright and early for our safari, but little did we know that to get from Nairobi to the Masai Mara it would be a 6-hour drive. A painful one that would involve a road so unbearably rocky that it caused several other vans to break down and our backs to require chiropractors. We were thrown around like rag dolls endlessly but finally arrived at Masai Mara national park, a 16000 square kilometer game reserve with all the wildlife you can imagine. It was a scenic and very expansive area with animals roaming freely in large packs (incidentally, a group of giraffes is known as a “grumble” of giraffes).

We spent all our days in this remarkably rugged van with a removable roof that allowed us to stand up for better views:

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Some of my favorite animals: giraffe, zebra, and warthog.

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We were treated to a beautiful sunset our first night in the Masai Mara:

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Big 5
Every visitor embarking on an African safari hopes to catch sight of the “Big 5″ animals: the water buffalo, elephant, rhino, leopard, and lion. We lucked out and saw all almost immediately. Water buffalos and elephants were monstrous and potentially deadly beasts, yet slow moving and gentle. The rhino was massive but unfortunately a bit too far away from us to appreciate fully. The lions and leopards were truly beautiful and majestic animals, and it was breathtaking to see them roaming around in their natural habitat.

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We lucked out and also witnessed the Obese 3:

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Wildebeest Migration
Wildebeest are unattractive cow-like animals that migrate in a group of over one million in pursuit of food. The migration lasts nine months, tours much of Kenya, and finally ends up in Masai Mara in September, hence the motivation for our safari trip at this location at this time.

We came across them as they encountered the Mara river…the hippo and crocodile infested Mara river. The wildebeest stood there for hours like idiots debating whether to cross (“you go first, no you go, no you go”)…and like bigger idiots we parked our van there and waited forever for them to cross. Thankfully they finally made up their mind and crossed the river. Fortunately for them, none were attacked. Unfortunately for us, none were attacked.

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Leonard
I cannot describe our safari without mentioning our driver and guide, Leonard. A curious guy he was. On the one hand he was incredibly knowledgeable based on his 16 years of experience. He was also a skilled driver who knew exactly where to drive us to get the best views of the more difficult-to-find animals; while other drivers would crowd around a lion walking, Leonard would aggressively race ahead off-road and deliver us to an empty area, only to have the lion stroll over a few minutes later where we had him all to ourselves.

But socially, Leonard was something special. Perhaps that same 16 years of experience made him lose enthusiasm, but he had little interest in talking to us. Rarely would a “good morning” or “bye” come from his mouth, and also we had to ask him any question three times before he’d even consider looking at us. And when he did it would either be with angry and irrelevant responses (us: “why do wildebeests form those groups?”, Leonard: “THERE ARE 40-50 WILDEBEEST IN A GROUP, OK?!”) … or with the least detail possible (us: “why are the wildebeest taking so long to decide to cross the river?”, Leonard: “animals”) … to exquisite detail (us: “what is an elephant?”, Leonard: “elephants roam the Masai Mara, which is 16485.3 sq km, and they live 50-80 years and have a gestation period of 2 years”).

Here is Leonard being Leonard…avoiding us. While talking on his tablet/cell phone. With an annoying Black Eyed Peas ringtone:

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Travel Journal: Nairobi

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Jambo from Kenya! After a series of three arduous flights — 6, 7, and 8 hours each — we finally arrived in the capital city of Nairobi (aka birthplace of Obama). A quick cab ride later we arrived at the charming (“charming”) Hotel Embassy, where we ate a freshly prepared hot meal of beef stew and chapati which did hit the spot. Our room, on the other hand, did not. Three beds, two mosquito nets. Do the math and that’s a recipe for malaria. We were then woken up in the middle of the night by obnoxiously loud street people who sounded like they were standing outside our window. Luckily we were there for less than 12 hours total. More importantly, our safari would start the next day.

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My Nemesis

Yup, Kenya has squat toilets. And I’ll be honest…these are no friend to Amir. They smell, they’re dirty, and let’s be honest, peoples…my scrawny legs aren’t nearly strong enough to support me. Luckily, this may provide the only exercise I get on the entire trip.

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Heart Rhythm Society Annual Meeting 2013

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Time to get my geek on. It’s the annual scientific sessions of the Heart Rhythm Society (HRS), and this year’s meeting was an exciting and significant one. President Bill Clinton started the meeting off with a bang by delivering the plenary talk. The man was amazing. From his opinions to his deliberate movements (e.g. taking his glasses on/off, hand gestures, etc.) to his comfortable speaking style, he was such a charming public speaker…no surprise since he’s been perfecting his craft for 20 years. In true Clinton style, his talk was interesting, captivating, sometimes long-winded, but never dull.

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Here he is during a Q&A session afterwards, where he answered some tough questions with the ease of someone chatting casually with friends.

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On to the little people. Here I am standing next to my poster…

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…looking sharp. Straight-up gangsta, but with a hint of hipster.

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I also gave my talk for the Young Investigator Awards competition, a program where the society recognizes hard work and interesting projects…or something. I was fortunate to have been chosen as one of only six finalists. During the meeting, we each had to give a 20-minute presentation which included some challenging questioning by the judges. The winner was announced the next night.

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What do you know…gangster, hipster, and now Young Investigator!

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Overall, a great meeting.

Post-Japan Thoughts

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This has definitely been a one of superlatives. I flew on the world’s best airline, in the world’s largest commercial airplane, to see the world’s largest fish market and the world’s busiest Starbucks, to eat the world’s best sushi, visit the home of the world’s most viewed YouTube video, and visited the world’s most militarized border. I also rode on the world’s 3rd fastest train and saw the world’s 3rd tallest flag pole.

This list should make even Donald Trump proud.

Travel Journal: DMZ

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Sit back, relax, and read about the wildest part of my trip. You’ll learn some fascinating history too.

The demilitarized zone refers to the border between North and South Korea. When the Korea War ended in 1953, an agreement between North Korea and the UN created a buffer zone around the border between the North and South. This buffer extends 2km north of the line and 2km south of the line, and is known as the demilitarized zone, or DMZ. Thus, the DMZ is a 4km-wide strip of land along the entire length of the border that was set up to prevent the two sides from directly interacting with one another, possible causing them to enter into war again.

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Despite the fact that it’s “demilitarized”, the military at the edges makes the DMZ the most heavily militarized border in the world.

I went on a tour of the DMZ, offered by the local USO, which is based at Camp Kim here in Seoul. Our tour was given in part by civilian South Korean tour guides and also active-duty US Army military police. Per their very strict dress code, I wore the blandest most boring clothes I had; didn’t want Kim Jung Un getting jealous of my style and overreacting.

The ~40 of us were taken by bus to Camp Bonifas, a base near the DMZ run by American, South Korean, and UN military. There we were met by the US Army who gave us an overview of the area and then made us sign our life away with paperwork. Pretty much, it said we could die…and they wouldn’t care. They gave us an excellent slideshow overview of the area, and we also learned some of the region’s history, including notable areas with charming names such as Freedom Village, Propaganda Village, the Bridge of No Return, and the Point of Axe Murder (details below.) Then we got to visit it all.

Joint Security Area
From there, a bus took us into the Joint Security Area (JSA, on map below), a very small section of land that actually straddles the border (aka the Military Demarcation Line), where North and South Korea each have a few buildings.

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Here, at the section of the border inside the JSA, the North and South Korean military stand…each side constantly facing their enemy every minute of the day. Blue buildings belong to the South, and grey the North. The South Korean soldiers stand half-shielded by buildings, just in case. This photo, and all photos inside the JSA, are looking north, as we weren’t allowed to take pictures behind us of the south. We were also told very explicitly when we could and could not take photos.

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Me in the front, decades of hostility and tension in the back. In all seriousness it was very tense here. We were under constant watch by the North Korean soldiers, and weren’t allowed to point, gesture, or wave to them as any such act might have been construed as hostile, or possibly even used later as propaganda.

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The blue building partially covered by my head is the UN Command Conference Room, and this building itself straddles the border too. Since 1953 this is where both sides come for face to face negotiations. Let’s go inside.

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There are two soldiers in there, one to the left of the table with flag and one at the opposite end of the room (not visible in the photo). They are always standing in that tae kwon do stance. Interestingly, that table with the flag also sits on top of the border…so I took this photo standing in the South, but at the far end of the room lies North Korea.

Here I am in South Korea. Look at the bad-ass. And look at the soldier.

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And here I am in North Korea. (Two-thirds of the Axis of Evil in attendance!)

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At first I thought the soldiers were called “rock” soldiers because of their statuesque like pose, but then I realized it’s actually ROK soldier…for Republic of Korea. Also if you got too close to them, they would move you.

Freedom Village and Propaganda Village
We left the JSA and went to an outdoor area for the view. You can see a small blue building near a bridge, a tall pole (to our right) and a taller pole in the distance (left). The closer pole is a South Korean flagpole, at 100m high. Not to be outdone, the North then built their own taller flagpole, at 160m; at the time, it was the tallest flagpole in the world but now it’s only the third tallest. Its flag alone weighs 600 pounds.

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At the base of the South Korean flagpole is Freedom Village, one of two villages in the DMZ. At the base of the North’s flagpole is Propaganda Village, as loud announcements used to constantly play praising Kim Jong Il. Nobody ever listened so they ended up taking down the speakers and replacing them with cameras that keep an eye on the South.

Bridge of No Return
There is a bridge near that small blue building. At one point the UN released their 82,000 POWs and North Korea/China released their 13,000 POWs near the bridge, and they could cross to the country of their choosing. The only restriction was that once they crossed, they could never return to the other side.

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Axe Murder Incident
The blue building above, Checkpoint 3, used to have a large poplar tree next to it (look very closely at the picture above, just to the left of the leftmost dark tree, where a small statue marks where the tree used to be.) Here is that statue up close today.

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That poplar tree prevented the soldiers at neighboring Checkpoint 4 to keep an eye on their buddies, so one day in 1976 they went to chop it down with axes. The North didn’t like that and ambushed them as they chopped away. The North greatly outnumbered them and brutally killed many of the South using those same axes.

Dorason Station
In what ended up being a surprisingly interesting end to the tour, we were taken to Dorason station, a train station that was built and completed in 2002 with hopes that it would connect to the trans-European and trans-Siberian railroads. Then-president Bush was present on opening day. The railway would need go through North Korea, but with poor relations between the countries this very modern station is not used at all.

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—–
Our Army guides did say that during the last few weeks, there has been some irregular activity by the North within the DMZ. They have been doing unusual and new training exercises, and they’ve been firing their weapons more often (into where, though, I have no idea!)

Interestingly, back in Seoul, most people don’t seem to care about the recent increased rhetoric by the North….apparently they know it’s just that, rhetoric. Apparently some international news sources are having a hard time finding any South Koreans in a panic. I guess no good news story for CNN.

All in all, a very fascinating day.

Travel Journal: Seoul

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Welcome to Korea. It is dark and bleak today, as it is everyday. The entire country is shrouded by the blanket of harsh communist rule, where the government seizes your possessions and kills the Internet. Winter is cold and lasts all year long. The sky is grey but so is everyone’s clothes. The air is smoggy, and it smells of oppression and old potatoes. People never smile; they just wait in line for days to get a loaf of stale bread. And all meals taste like boiled cabbage. In the distance you hear someone dying.

Wait, that’s North Korea. I’m in South Korea…and having a great time! I’m sitting here in a restaurant, half-drunk on something called makgeolli, watching porn on my Samsung Galaxy phone. (Totally kidding about that last one. Everyone knows I only buy Apple products.)

Seoul is an extremely modern and hi-tech city, even more so than Tokyo. From its airport to subway system to taxis, everything here is computerized and extremely easy to use. (But really, the technology of both cities is streets ahead of the USA.)

Palaces
Seoul has many very old palaces but all were burned down by the Japanese during the invasion several centuries ago, so everything was recently rebuilt. Their most well-known one is Gwanghwamun, where they have a changing of the guards every hour. Pssht, I could do their job.

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Tea, Gangnam Style
Apparently last year, a chubby young Korean guy made a song video about a neighborhood called Gangnam and put it on the international worldwide webs, and then lots of people watched it. I decided to check out this upscale neighborhood. There were plenty of elegant high rises but nothing overly flashy. I had me some fancy tea at the top of the Park Hyatt Seoul and got a nice view of the area.

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And in case you’re wondering, no I never saw Psy.

Travel Journal: Tokyo 2

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Sushi Jiro
The time has come to eat at the famous Sukiyabashi Jiro, or more commonly, Sushi Jiro. Not only was the reservation hard to get, so was finding the restaurant. As usual in this city, locating the restaurant was a painful struggle…we rode the metro, went up skyscrapers, crossed overpasses, and asked directions multiple times, but we finally found the nearly unmarked restaurant. Unfortunately Jiro himself wasn’t there that day, but his son, who I immediately recognized from the movie, was. Close enough.

Inside the restaurant was very quiet but surprisingly the mood was relaxed. We were shown to our seats at the short counter, behind which stood Jiro, Jr. and his one helper, both busy toiling away in silence.

After months of anticipation I was finally here…and super nervous. But a few shots of sake later I was warmed up and ready for the show. Over the next hour and a half they proceeded to bring out piece after piece of meticulously prepared seafood. Fish comprised only about half the menu; the rest was other sea life such as scallops, octopus, eel, and clam. The sushi was…amazing. Fish were sliced just right, perfectly seasoned, tender, and without any tough bits. The rice was perfectly cooked and formed, dense enough to hold its shape but still light. Every piece was fresh and brightly colored and appetizing. Every piece also exceeded my expectations.

Equally impressive as the food was the impeccable service. We were watched the entire time, in front by Jiro, Jr. and helper, and from the back by the hostess. There was never a need to ask for anything, as they anticipated or knew our every need. If sauce spilled or sake was empty, they would quickly and quietly swoop in and take care of it without being asked. At one point my iPhone dropped to the floor and the hostess immediately rushed to pick it up…unfortunately, that delayed her a few seconds from seeing new customers at the door, which earned her a mouthful of scolding from the boss.

The only imperfection lay with one small component of the menu. I enjoyed every piece of sushi put in front of me except for one: sea urchin, or uni. Pictured below (bottom right), this squishy yellow blob had the consistency of curdled milk and the taste of fish guts. I faced the wall and spent several minutes chewing in silence, since I dared not look over at Jiro (who would have thrown me out) or my brother (who would have made me laugh and spit it up). In the end I finally swallowed but not without a few suppressed gag reflexes. I’m sure the urchin was of the highest quality and that it couldn’t have been better prepared, but even Jiro can’t make this disgusting sea creature taste good.

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(The one other flaw was two guys sitting next to us who were brown-nosing Jiro the entire time. Back home I’d call them douchebags. Here in Tokyo…well, they’re still douchebags.)

Finally, my chopstick skills? On the ball. At one point I performed an elaborate move bringing a shrimp to my mouth then gracefully tearing off its tail right at the moment I put it in my mouth. Forget Jiro, they should make a documentary about me. (Just kidding Jiro, please let me eat there again.)

This was an amazing meal and experience, and worth all the hassle and effort (and money) to make it reality. Hopefully I’ll be back again in the future.

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Ramen
While Japan’s sushi has been great, the dish that’s really surprised me here is ramen. Little did I expect these seemingly simple bowls of thin noodles to be so tasty and addictive. As I often do while traveling, I eat four meals a day. However, unlike other trips where this extra meal occurs spontaneously when I’d see an appetizing dish as I roam the streets, here I actively schedule an afternoon ramen into my daily meal plan. And I can’t wait long either…after lunch #1, I can only last about 30 minutes before I’m hunting for lunch #2.

After sampling multiple ramen houses, my favorite quickly became one named Ichiran. This chain has a unique feature whereby their counter is filled with vertical dividers separating every customer. Their intent is for you to focus on your food…and only on your food. Such solitary eating is certainly unusual, especially for Americans. Focus you will do, but it’s very anti-social. Actually, come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m complaining. (Which also makes me think, perhaps I finally should join Facebook…after all, I support anything that reduces human contact!)

The Ichiran experience starts with you paying for your meal beforehand at a machine, then specifying various aspects of your ramen (e.g. broth richness, noodle tenderness, spiciness, etc.), taking a seat in your stall, and then awaiting your bowl of personalized noodles to slurp.

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Yes, your boy can read Japanese. Just kidding. I’ve eaten here so much that I’ve memorized the words on that card.

Hakone
We took a day trip to Hakone, a small city in the beautiful mountainside just outside of Tokyo. The region is filled with domestic and international visitors who want to escape bustling city life and enjoy one of the many hot springs there. Mt. Fuji is also visible in the distance, although we didn’t have time for it as our train was stuck for an extra hour because someone jumped onto the tracks (leave it to one person to ruin it for everyone.) But we did enjoy a nice meal…and, awkward as it was, we took a short dip in the hot springs. Unfortunately I was forced to abide by their rules, which meant no underwear while in the water.

So basically, I travelled four hours to eat a bowl of noodles and sit naked with some men.

Travel Journal: Kyoto

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Trains
I don’t have strong opinions on most things in this world. For example, politics. Don’t care much. Sports. Eh. Human interaction. Take it or leave it.

But trains? I love me some trains. Whether it’s because they’re a rarity in the US, or such an easy way to travel long distances, or the clickity-clack of the wheels are relaxing, trains are my favorite mode of transportation.

Japan has no shortage of trains between their expansive metro, railway system, and most famously, their bullet train (or, Shinkansen). Their speediest car is the Nozomi 700. These odd-looking yet slender bad boys run surprisingly silently at speeds approaching 275 mph and yet you barely feel any movement. (Yes, physics geeks, at constant speed it’s impossible to feel anything; but even when speeding up/slowing down, this train feels remarkably motionless.)

We took the Shinkansen from Tokyo to Kyoto for the weekend, and for the entire 2-hour journey I was like a kid in a candy store. (A candy store that smelled like seaweed and fish, mind you.)

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Just call me Sheldon.

Traditional Japan
Kyoto is the city to visit for a glimpse of ancient Japan. As the former capital, Kyoto is likely what people imagine when they think of the cultural side of this country, and it is filled with ancient temples and shrines and beautiful gardens. This city is also the perfect place to get a taste of how Japanese people used to live, by staying in a ryokan, a traditional Japanese inn.

Here, everything is taken care of for you by people waiting on your every need. You simply lounge around in robes and drink tea, sleep on tatami mats, and enjoy hot spring baths (public though, where no underwear was allowed…ok, so only private baths for me then.)

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Most impressively, you are treated to elegant Japanese haute cuisine (kaiseki) for dinner. However, what is haute cuisine for some is unusual cuisine for others. Colorful and perfectly prepared as each dish was of this 10-course meal, it appeared they were made only with raw fish parts. Each time a course was placed in front of us, we eagerly opened the little box hoping to find something familiar, but it never happened. Just cold, raw, unidentifiable pieces of something squishy that was just snatched from the ocean. Some were so fresh that a skilled veterinarian could have probably revived them. It was a very beautiful-looking and masterfully-prepared meal…but unfortunately, for us, not a tasty one.

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Temple of 1000 Gates
We took a day hike at Fushimi Inari, one of the most popular shrines in Japan where the 4 km path up a mountainous forest was lined with thousands of bright red gates.

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Geisha
Kyoto is home to Japan’s famous entertainment and geisha district. Before this trip I really had no idea what a geisha was…I just thought they were Japanese women who put on lots of makeup, wear kimonos, and write memoirs. I now finally learned who they really are.

First of all, they are not prostitutes. And they don’t sleep with their customers (a shame, because that immediately ruined many of my plans.) They are well-trained and very talented entertainers who liven up social situations. They dance, play games, offer witty conversation, and are skilled at playing Japanese musical instruments. Also, it takes years of training to become one.

Gion is the geisha district in Kyoto where they can often be spotted in the evenings walking on the streets, usually to or from an event. Tourists often hang out in this district at night trying to spot geishas, and we too went geisha hunting while we were here. One night we saw a taxi filled with them, their distinct hair style visible in the back seats. The second night we saw two young ones walking around, but they were probably maiko, geisha in training. We also went to a traditional dance performance, but were fooled…instead of a geisha we got a maiko.

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I don’t know what was on her mind, but she sure looked angry the entire time. (Maybe she saw me accidentally (sort of) push over a large Eastern European woman so I could get myself a good seat. Oops.)